The Sidford family, Wellington
When the Sidford family from Lower Hutt first arrived in Auckland they had no idea how sick their newborn son Riley was, nor how long they’d be away from home.
Riley was born in Lower Hutt hospital on the 9th July with a congenital heart defect known as TAPVD (total anomalous pulmonary venus drainage). All scans up until Riley was born showed everything was normal, however when doctors cut the umbilical cord Riley had trouble breathing. Doctors initially thought Riley had pneumonia so did a scan only to find that his veins were not correctly attached to his heart.
Immediately Mum Amy Dad Alastair and Riley were flown to Starship where Riley underwent a successful 9-hour heart bypass operation at just 16 hours old.
Ella, their daughter (21 months), was brought to Auckland shortly after and begun what was to be an 11 week-long stay at Ronald McDonald House Auckland.
Amy spent the entire 11 weeks in Auckland with Riley, Alastair would fly home for work every Thursday, taking Ella with him and returning to Auckland each Saturday night.
“The House and Family Room have been so amazing” says Alastair. “I’ve never seen so many people bend over backwards to help you out. 95% of kiwis would never (thankfully) get to see or understand what goes on in this place.”
The family had just shifted into a new house weeks before Riley was born. “We’ve been at Ronald’s house longer than our own! Without this place we would have had to sell everything to be here.”
Despite Riley being in hospital, the family had lots of quality time together and Ella, a shy little girl before coming to the House, loved having two parents around 24/7. “She’s had a great time” says Amy. “Her development during the 11 weeks we were in the House was huge. The communal meals became a drawn out social event as she wanted to get around and talk to everybody.”
Riley underwent a second operation at 5 weeks old as the veins to his heart had already begun to narrow. Alastair and Amy were told to prepare themselves for the worst as the success rate for this type of operation was not high.
“You definitely have outbursts as everything gets on top of you but you can’t sit and cry all day long,” says Amy. “You had to find things to laugh about to keep you sane. Also meeting people on a similar journey saves you. There were lots of women in the House, all with sick children and all with husbands going back and forth for work, we lifted each other up.”
“It’s good for the siblings too, that tend to get forgotten because they’re not the ones that are unwell.” During their time at the House Ella got to experience Kelly Tarlton’s, Auckland Zoo, the Olympic pools as well as special events in the House.
Prior to Riley being born Alastair had been working long hours in his Golf Club business in Lower Hutt. “Having a sick child makes you realise work isn’t the be all and end all,” says Alastair.
An ex-pro golfer, Alastair had spent 10 years on the pro-tour circuit before setting up his own golfing business four years ago. These days he devotes his time to coaching, member services and working in his retail shop.
“There’s over 900 members at the Golf Club — it’s like one big family, they’ve been a huge support,” says Alistair. “One of our members even gave us a couple of return flights to Auckland that he had won in a raffle which was a big help.”
11 weeks after Riley was born, Amy and Alastair felt they had gone full circle as sadly his veins were narrowing again causing stress on his heart. They had a meeting with Riley’s specialists as his scans weren’t showing any progress, it was then they were told there was nothing more they could do for Riley and recommended he be taken off his ventilator.
Heartbreaking as this was, neither of them wanted Riley to suffer any longer. “He’s had 50 lives already!” says Alastair. “Aside from his heart he’s a healthy boy. It’s been a difficult road for all of us and we’ve played out this scenario in our heads so many times now.”
Riley was taken off his ventilator on Thursday 25th September and sadly passed away that evening.
“Riley has given us a renewed perspective on how precious life is and we are so grateful for that. We need to stay strong for Ella and life has to go on for the rest of us.”
Looking to the future, Amy and Alastair would like to give Ella a baby brother or sister, once they’ve gotten through this ordeal. “We’ve got a big house” says Amy “and we’d like to fill it with something, certainly not golf clubs!”
Our thoughts go out to Alastair, Amy and Ella.
The RMH Auckland Trust funds and governs Ronald McDonald House Auckland (48 rooms), the Ronald McDonald House Family Room (13 short stay critical care rooms) in Starship Hospital and RMHA St Martins (16 offsite apartments). It is a registered community charitable trust comprised of the following partners: Auckland District Health Board, Child Cancer Foundation, Heart Children, The Rotary Club of Downtown Auckland, Ronald McDonald House Charities and 2 community representatives. The House, Family Room and St Martins provide a ‘home away from home’ for over 3,000 families of children with life-threatening illnesses each year. The Trust through its staff and partnerships actively fundraises throughout New Zealand to achieve the $3,000,000 p.a. it needs to run the facilities and support its families. Charity Registration number: CC23591