The Kingi family, Hawkes Bay
When Taniora Kingi went home to Napier in July 2006, life must have looked pretty weird through his five month old eyes. For a start he and mum Shar, dad Tony and big sister Te Ara weren’t living in the same room, there was only one kitchen and they were the only family living in the house!
Since he was born the only home Taniora had ever known was the one he’d shared with up to 48 other families — Ronald McDonald House Auckland.
Shar was eight months pregnant when on Christmas Eve she noticed daughter Te Ara’s eye was protruding. Three different doctors over the holiday period delivered the same message — “don't worry, all’s well.’ But when the family GP got back to work in January he saw things differently. Within days Te Ara was in Starship, diagnosed with acute myloid leukaemia and the family stayed at Ronald McDonald House Auckland. Shar remembers the day of the diagnosis — “There were floods of tears and phone calls. The family came in droves to support us.” It’s that support that continued through six months of lumbar punctures, constant white cell counts, a naso-gastric tube, 23 blood transfusions, four bouts of intensive chemotherapy treatment and the birth of their son Taniora on Febuary 11.
The family has tackled each challenge together. Tony arrived at the House with dreadlocks. Facing chemotherapy, Te Ara was not only allowed to cut her own hair — she also took the scissors to Dad’s!
Shar set up a website to keep their many friends and supporters at home in Hawke's Bay up to date with what was happening — and, just as importantly, so the Kingis could keep in touch with news from back in the Bay.
An excerpt from Shar's journal: “We are back at Ronald’s now and keeping Te Ara under lock and key … even though her chemo has stopped we still need to keep a close eye on her and restrict certain activities for a while. Let that little system of hers build itself up…”
The last weeks of the family’s time with us was spent in one of our four transplant units while Te Ara slowly rebuilt her precious counts. Shar recounts “For the first time we were able to do things like a normal family — cook a meal and eat together. It was great not having to race to the kitchen when no-one else was around and picnic in the corner or rush back to the room.”
Over their time in the House and at Starship, the Kingis had highs and lows. Tony says “Every day was just another day. It didn’t matter what the weather was like. If your child wakes up with a smile, it’s a good day. If they’re in pain, it’s hard.”
They’ve supported many other families and drawn strength themselves from those whose child was further down the treatment track than Te Ara. Tony again: “It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor. Everybody just looks after each other and supports each other. Doctors only know it through a book but they haven’t lived it. The parents have lived it.”
During their six months at the House Tony frequently thanked the volunteers who cooked the shared family dinners each Wednesday night. At the core of each speech was a simple message. “Thank you for your support. Thank you for your help. We, the parents, are here, that wonderful hospital up the hill is here and Ronald McDonald House is here, all for one reason. We’re here for the kids.’
Having returned home to Napier in June 2006, the Kingis briefly returned to the House in October for the last round of Te Ara’s treatment and again in April 2007 for Te Ara to have her bloods done. The results — all clear!
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The RMH Auckland Trust funds and governs Ronald McDonald House Auckland (48 rooms) and the Ronald McDonald House Family Room (13 short stay critical care rooms) in Starship Hospital. It is a registered community charitable trust comprised of the following partners: Auckland District Health Board, Child Cancer Foundation, Heart Children, The Rotary Club of Downtown Auckland, Ronald McDonald House Charities and 2 community representatives. The House and Family Room provide a ‘home away from home’ for over 3,000 families of children with life-threatening illnesses each year. The Trust through its staff and partnerships actively fundraises throughout New Zealand to achieve the $2,300,000 p.a. it needs to run the facilities and support its families. Charity Registration number: CC23591